Why Successful Relationships Require Undying Support

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This cannot be disputed. The best relationships and those which pass the test of time all have a few elements that set them apart from all the other failed relationships and marriages around the globe.

That is: Undying support

The degree to which both parties support and comfort each other in times of sadness, change, failure, war and unpredictable events determines the overall nature and vitality of a relationship. One could even make the assertion that the levels of support offered and demonstrated by the couple would help them understand whether or not their relationship has a future.

How Support Affects a Relationship

How Support Affects A Relationship
[h6_focus_heading]Support through difficult times strengthens a relationship[/h6_focus_heading]

Imagine you had an all-important concert to attend to, one that you’ve been planning and practising with for months. Your confidence in your ability to perform will be fluctuating constantly from the moment you received your invitation till the night you go out and actually take center stage.

On some days your singing is perfect, whilst on others you’re failing to hit a single note. Having an environment full of positive energies is guaranteed to give you the boost you need to perform without the pressure. More importantly, having a close partner who warms to you whenever you’re feeling down will provide you with the courage to give a caviar of a performance, by instilling the belief that you can accomplish the feat that you’ve set for yourself.

On the contrary, imagine if you were running an online business, your products aren’t selling very well, and it looks like you won’t be able to pay the bills for that month. You look to the corner of your eyes only to find a face conveying such abject contempt and disappointment. Your wife is pressuring you to make serious amounts of money – fast! All she’s interested in is her personal security and comfort. Heck, she’s not even interested in the nature of your work.

[column size="col-9"]She doesn’t say, “What’s wrong, do you need any assistance to get you through this month?” Instead the response you receive is, “you’ve got 2 months – if it’s not bringing in enough money you better have a real job lined up.”

What kind of support is that? Motivation by fear isn’t enough to turn an unfavourable situation into something great. Whilst she may mean well, she’s not giving any signals to her partner that she appreciates the efforts he is trying to make on his end. When we receive support from our loved ones, we perform better in all walks of life because we know that if and when we fall – we’ll be caught in wools of cotton. This allows us to recover faster and take more risks that may provide more advantages to our relationships, such as earning more money etc.[/column]

[column size="col-3" last_column="true"][blockquote]Sacrificing all our individual needs doesn’t strengthen a relationship. Mutually supporting each other’s growth does. – Ritu Ghatourey[/blockquote]
[/column]

The 2 examples above simply show a contrast between partners who supports each other in everything they do, vs. someone who only ultimately cares about themselves.

Glance over those scenarios again and think of how the behavioural nuances of these particular people can affect other areas of their partner’s life.


The Benefits of a Supportive Partner

The Benefits of A Supportive Partner
[h6_focus_heading]Make the chain of love as strong as it can be[/h6_focus_heading]

We all know that having someone behind your back who could look after you akin to the way an emperor penguin insulates its young, is instrumental for a relationship’s success. However there are some less known benefits of having a supportive partner as a part of your overall support network.

Your Success is their Success

Some of the best relationships I’ve ever witnessed and experienced are those whereby all parties wants everyone involved to succeed in all of their pursuits. These couples are some of the smartest beings in the world, since they put aside personal feelings of negative envy and jealousy, and use this energy to simply make the relationship stronger.

When was the last time you heard someone say, “one of my goals in this relationship is to become a more successful, accomplished, loving person whilst helping you becoming successful – simultaneously.”?

Enter James Oliver

CEO and Founder of WeMontage, James Oliver – expresses just how important having a supportive partner is for beginning a startup.

[blockquote]“I am an entrepreneur and I have the most amazing wife in the world. The support I get for her is incredible. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re working on a start-up, you WILL need moral support (at a minimum) from your spouse – without it, well, I can’t even imagine how that would work.” – James Oliver[/blockquote]

You see, James and his wife were set to have twins at the beginning of this year. He was striving to get his start-up into the gener8tor start-up accelerator in Madison WI, however at one point he didn’t want to go through with it. He wanted to stay with his wife and his newly born babies.

What do you think his wife did?

She kicked him out of the hospital, literally!

“Get your ass down to Madison and rock out the accelerator because we need WeMontage to be a success,” she said.

Boom! If that’s not support – I don’t know what is.


Stress actually becomes manageable

Stress is one of the biggest plagues that steal thousands of lives yearly. Having a supportive partner will help to detoxify this demon from the innards of your being.

Researchers from the University of California, Irvine carried out a survey assessing the reactions people have to stress from roughly 700 participants. Those who retained negative reactions to stressful events on a day-to-day basis were more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety 10 years later.

This is where Mr and Mrs Right come in. Judy Ford, licensed clinical support worker says that stress impacts our love relationships more than we are aware of or acknowledge.

One of the best tips she shares on how to spot stress and overcome it as a couple is through comforting one another. By understanding one another, listening to each other’s worries and focusing on comfort first before problem-solving, stress amongst all parties is heavily reduced.

As explained above, having a relationship that builds its foundation on support, love and care is sure to be one that survives throughout all the difficulties that life has to offer. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow in their lives, however having someone next to you who you can count on will make you anticipate and look forward to tomorrow’s challenges.

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  • Cathy Fraser

    Fantastic post. This was right on I think. I have been reading Why Love Succeeds or Fails by Wendy Brown and she hits on so many of these points. Her book is really helpful for relationship work, I recommend it! whylovesucceeds.com is her site.

    • DavidJOragui

      Thanks for the kind words Cathy! Definitely taking a look at that book – I’m sure there are loads of new things I could learn from Wendy with regards to relationships and love. Been looking for a dedicated website on relationships from this angle, so thanks for sharing the website! :)

© 2014 David J Oragui