3 Core Values You Must Practice Daily In Your Relationship
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Trust is a very important component that every relationship requires for survival.
The trust levels in a relationship; always try your very best to keep them as high as possible.
They’re like the lifeline of a relationship.
For me, ‘trust’ symbolises a strong chained bond between two or more people.
Similar to a bridge that connects one large city or district to another.
Trust in itself is a very strong but delicate core value at the same time.
It takes months and years to build up trust towards an individual, but in less than a minute, it can be left in tatters.
The same applies to my concept of a bridge.
It requires thousands of man hours to create a bridge that will serve businesses, organisations and individuals better, yet all it takes is something of a destructive nature to ruin it.
Using an example to illustrate my point, think about a situation between a guy and a girl who are having a conflict.
The problem relates to the fact that other girls are always parading their ‘assets’ in a variety of ways in front of a guy who is already in a committed relationship.
This is a very common problem that the majority of us have either been in, or witnessed.
The girl raises the issue as soon as possible, and his reply – as like most people in his situation “they’re just friends.”
But can guys and girls really be friends?
Most importantly, if your so called ‘friends’ respected your relationship, would they behave in this way?
This creates a lot of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy a lot of people claim to be ‘healthy’ in a relationship.
I personally disagree with that notion, it isn’t jealousy, but rather concern and understandably so.
This situation is simply one of many that challenges the strength of trust in our relationships, and it is how we deal with these situations that will either strengthen the vitality of our relationship or inevitably kill it.
“Do you trust me?”
What does this question even mean – is it simply a less direct way of saying “do you think I’ll cheat?”
A vital component and one of the most underrated core values in a relationship.
Honesty doesn’t prove its importance in a relationship once it has begun, but rather before it.
During the courting process, we’re all trying our very best to impress the person we’re interested in.
Therefore we subconsciously hide away a few unpleasant aspects of our personality in the hopes that our special person doesn’t find out.
This is all perfectly ok and it’s a natural response even when meeting someone new.
However, what about individuals who don’t make their intentions clear before they get involved with another person, either sexually, emotionally or both?
I read an article the other day about why men no longer wish to get married.
The author is in a three year relationship with her boyfriend and she has hinted on two occasions that she’d like to get married one day.
His responses on both occasions were as follows:
“I haven’t really thought about it?”
Are you seriously telling me that in the 3 years you’ve spent with your partner, you haven’t thought about it – not even once, about whether you’d like to get married or not?
I believe her partner has thought about it several times, but has come to the same conclusion every time.
“I don’t want to get married.”
“I don’t want to get married to you.”
“I’m too afraid to tell you, because things are good right now – and I’m comfortable with the current situation.”
Despite this, I am actually very surprised that it has taken this long to have this conversation.
I’m an extremely strong believer in making my intentions clear right from the offset, my readers already know this from some of my previous relationship articles.
In my honest opinion (see what I did there?), these kind of discussions should happen as early as possible.
Many people reading this may scoff at the mere thought of me suggesting this, but it’s a far better option than offloading on your partner for years on end, knowing that only one person is having their needs in a relationship met.
I’m not saying that you should ask for your date’s hand in marriage immediately.
Not. At. All.
What I’m saying is that you need to make sure both of your lives are heading in the same direction.
If you want different things from life, then maybe it’d be best for the both of you to call it quits.
I believe it’s better to have fun with someone, share experiences etc – knowing that it will end in the near distant future, rather than having them on a leash.
Otherwise you just might end up in this situation.
“I dated a girl for eight years, seven of them we lived together.
Here is the cold truth, I knew after about a year living with her that I wasn’t going to marry her.
She was an awesome, spunky Salvadorian girl who would do anything for me.
She was simply was amazing.
So why did I break up with her?
I was no longer sexually attracted to her.
In fact after about a year into the relationship my mindset was geared to more of a close friendship.
I didn’t want to change anything, she was my closest friend and I was very comfortable.
She waited, and waited only to be let down with a breakup.
I felt really bad and knew I should have done it long ago.
Fast forward seven years later.
I met another girl.
Dated for four years, the fourth year we moved in together.
Asked her hand in marriage last August, getting married in three weeks.
The difference? I am more attracted to her now then the day I met her.
Not just in looks, but attitude, she’s confident, and above all self-reliant.
The bottom line: If he doesn’t ask it means he doesn’t want it.
Why? He sees you as a friend, close room-mate and prefers living in a safety net.
One should never wait to start their life on another’s decision. It should be joint endeavour.”
Total lack of honesty and respect – I don’t even need to go into that value, it speaks for itself.
I give the man props for at least learning from his mistake.
This is why honesty is important, as it can make or break a perfectly good relationship.
Let me know your thoughts.
What core values in a relationship do you feel are necessary for its success?